i actually think a lot about what past middle school me would think of me if i could meet them now. below is a list of the top 5 things i think they would find the most shocking about me:

1. lesbian
2. can actually draw
3. drinks alcohol
4. wears crop tops
5. likes one direction

anyway, tomorrow is my first day at my new big girl job working on a fancy play with famous people. i'm officially 2 degrees of separation from jk rowling isn't that fucked or what.

i've come to the realization that i am ready to be in a relationship but unfortunately i am too much of a coward to make it happen.

[redactecd because i regret putting my business out on the internet like that]

fuck my stupid baka life. why is this so hard.

hey hotties its me, ollie olliveen. i've been hanging out, visited home for the holidays, went skiing, pet my cat, had a crisis of self, the usual. unfortunately last week i finally decided to get around to watching the show heartstopper and i'm really pissed off because it actually is as good as people say. i might have binged the entire thing and then immediately gone back and started it over again. we all know i have a track record for getting obsessed with something and watching it over and over again until i need to physically force myself to stop (r.e back to the future). today at work i bonded with my supervisor who ALSO has watched heartstopper way too many times in a row though so i'm really normal actually. i am feeling very fortunate that i live nowhere near new york city because seeing kit connor play one of my favorite fictional characters of all time live would actually ruin my life i think. you know the instant that romeo & juliet slime tutorial is available for trade in may my life is going to be over. pray for me

well well well, look who decided to write in their diary for the first time in ~2 months

i've honestly just been livin my life tbh. i've been making an effort to live super presently and its been kind of nice to not share a lot online. i've also been on that grindset, working like 6 days a week for the past 3-4ish weeks, which honestly hasn't been to bad since i love my job and my coworkers and also since i do a lot of manual labor i've been getting kinda buff :p

some things from recently: i've been dancing in public. i participated in a scavenger hunt and buried a letter in a ziplock bag in the woods. i'm sad that since graduation my community have gotten smaller but i'm trying to find new places that make life feel magical. i am trying to inject whimsy into life every day because what's the point of being an adult if i don't. i have watched a bootleg of the recent revival of the who's tommy 4 times in the past week.

also its freaking christmastime and i forgot. i watched hot frosty yesterday and i thought it was very silly, would recommend