im gonna be so fking for real with you i've had the MONTH from HELL but i am HOME from SCHOOL with my KITTY so its all ok again

long story short, i had that below mentioned cold, then i recovered, but my immune system was so taken out by it that i immediately got a sinus infection. its been MISERABLE :(. but luckily for me i am mostly better!!! i was well enough where i was able to attend the musical my friend directed and other friend stage managed (spring awakening!!! i lowkey hate that show but i enjoyed myself regardless, everyone is so talented!!!). i also went to an escape room with my friends monday which was really fun, so finally things are coming up ollie :). its good to be home too, my hometown is pretty rural and not close to where i go to college at all, so its a rare treat. about 7 hours of travel yesterday but it was worth it.

now i just have to catch up on all my work because i am woefully behind due to spending the entire semester either being on that theater kid grind or passing away from illness. wish me luck i have like 5 books to read in the next 2 weeks x_x

HALLOWEEKEND BABEY!!! i got invited to TWO (2!!!!) halloween parties this weekend. literally nothing like a theater kid halloween party it was a good time. my two costumes were freddy fazbear (friday) and gideon nav (saturday). i slayed gideon so hard it was a really good costume but only like 3 people i know have actually read gideon the ninth lol (ONLY COOL PEOPLE GET IT those who dont im sorry for your loss i guess). BUT people kept not being able to recognize me under the gideon face paint tho :( jumpscaring my friends BOO its me. i started keeping a tally of who knew me on sight and who didn't lmao.

tbh the party i went to saturday was an annual club event i've gone to every year since i was a freshman and tbh this year was the lamest i've ever seen it. this year there are a LOT of new members and not as many returning members as usual, and i feel like there's been an unusual divide between the "play" members of the club and the "musical" members because no one fucking knows each other. idk i am a former musical member who converted to play ways this semester so maybe its just the different perspective, but the vibes were weird last night

aaaaanyway I SAW FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS TODAY!! sooooo silly soooo goofy. it was sooooo bad and i had so much fun. i love going to movie theaters the collective audience reactions whenever anything fanservicy happened was electric. the GASP when springtrap walked in was just incredible. ALSO THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS???? OBSESSED. i lowkey wished they had stuck more to the game-accurate lore but tbh who gives a shit it was a good time

also... update on the illness, i'm doing a lot better, not rly sick anymore but the cough is not going away (i am just a smidge chronically ill i think this happens a lot). i have a doctors appointment tomorrow to make sure i don't have pneumonia lol. but i think i dont, i'm mostly 100%! yaaaay

turns out i am exceeding ill, heigh ho for real actually

i've come down with the sickness and by sickness i mean i can't stop coughing and its been 9 days :/ this sucks im miserable. i love this i finally get free time and i immediately become bedridden like a little victorian child. fml

i am exceeding ill, heigh ho

last night was closing night for much ado and i cannot overstate that i have never had a theater experience as profound as this one. sick and twisted to make me go to rehearsals every day and form a bond with this cast and crew only for it to just be... over. my brain is malfunctioning not understanding why i am not at the theater right now lmao. we partied again last night and i was able to mostly hold it together but unfortunatley i did lowkey start sobbing in my english class today while discussing mary wollstonecraft & grief. i swear i have ever felt a post show depression worse than this. i kept a piece of the set that i painted and i got everybody's signatures on the back :') keeping myself going knowing my theater club's halloween party is in 2 weeks and i'll get to see my beloved cast and crew again soon.

where are my theater kids at who gets it.

to change the subject to a less personal sad topic - nerdy prudes must die!!!! i have to say... sorry to all the starkid fans out there who will kill me for this but i kinda didnt love it, at least compared to tgwdlm and black friday. it just wasnt on that level. it was still fun tho and i am a joey richter stan through and through so it was nice to see him in a lead role again!!! maybe i need to rewatch it to fully appreciate it, but i am still biased towards tgwdlm as the best hatchetfield (but that might be because i got to see that one live (subtle brag moment))

hey fellow nbs/lesbians/nonbinary lesbians out there: do you ever become obsessed with a man to like a concerning, could be mistaken for a crush degree, not because you actually like him that way but because you just have the most intense gender envy?

...yeah

i'm acting like a stupid dumbass weirdo every time i see this guy and its so bizarre because i dont like like him, i just want to steal his identity.

also i do not get hungover like my body doesnt do that for whatever reason but i think yesterday was the closest ive ever gotten, i was on the verge of throwing up like all day. i am not a party person i have never been that fucked up before what is happening to me

GRAAAAAH!!!! LAST NIGHT WAS OPENING NIGHT!!!! LOSING MY MIND GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET JUMPING UP AND DOWN!!!! it was just amaaaaazing and i am so over everything about this production that made me so stressed because IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!!! this might be the best show i've ever worked on/seen EVER and the fact that its only for 2 weekends is actively making me sob because i could live like this forever

the show went AMAZING EXCEPT for this one part where some FUCKER in the audience's phone alarm went off DURING ACT 4 SCENE 1 DURING CLAUDIO'S LINE "fare thee well most foul most fair, farewell" SHAKESPEARE FANS MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING FANS IF YOU KNOW THEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO STRANGLE THAT PERSON AT THAT MOMENT but other than that it was our best performace yet and i am so proudddddd of our cast and crew!! it was just so goooood because you could tell that the majority of the audience didn't have any clue what the plot was and we got to watch them slowly get soooooo invested it was insane. the SCREAMS when benedick and beatrice kissed was LIFE CHANGING.

after the show we had an opening night party too and i think last night was the most drunk i've ever been in my lifeeeeee. i love house parties man i love this cast i love this crew i am going to be a hopeless wreck next weekend when i have to say goodbye :(

it's finally here: the week of my semester where i spend 30 hours of one weekend in a basement. i am so eepy and a little stressed because apparently some of the cast and crew have been having issues with our director and just haven't said anything :/ which makes me feel shitty because if people told me i would try to help, like helping w/ that sort of thing is part of my job ://// i guess if people don't communicate that's on them, but still i want everyone to be having a good time :(

anyway i type this about an hour before a 12-hour cue-to-cue sesh - unpopular theater opinion but i love cue-to-cue - so it'll be fun. but i am so looking forward to my dark day on monday when i can sleep and finally write that essay that's due monday night (oh right i'm a student and i need to not fail my classes teehee)

and that's what you missed on ollie's hectic life of neverending responsibilities

oh my god this past week has been awful for me like daily breakdowns so stressed feeling sick then today i cleaned my water bottle for the first time in a while and instantly was in the best mood ever for the rest of the day. isnt that funny

ALSO SEND HELP I CAN'T STOP SAYING TEEHEE

omg haiiii. long time no write bc i have been crushed under the weight of my responsibilites. remember last entry when i said "in two weeks i will have different problems". well i wasnt wrong!!!!!!! i am working as stage manager for my theater club's call play and even though this is the 3rd time i've stage managed for them this time feels worse. the past 2 times i have done the musical which has a 9 week turnaround, while the play has 5 weeks. honestly everything is happening so fast that i feel like i cant keep up, and with this on top of my schoolwork and WRITING A GOD DAMN THESIS i haven't had any real time off. things that are my responsibility to handle keep cropping up and every time i fall short in completing one it feels like everyone is side-eyeing me and whispering behind my back about how poorly i'm performing. i think i'm being a tad paranoid, but time is just constantly slipping away from me. stage managing is honestly so isolating: having to juggle keeping my friendships with my clubmates while still being their boss sometimes :/

i don't want to be completely negative tho, because despite how it sounds i actually love my job and i'm having a great time working on this show. i am sm-ing shakespeare's much ado about nothing, and it's just so silly and fun and every rehearsal makes me laugh, so it's all kind of worth it in the end :) i'm so excited for this show to be a finished project, i got to see the set designer's sketches today and it's just going to be so cool!!!!!! if you remember my diary entry on may 28th, i was heartbroken over getting assigned to this show instead of the musical, but i'm starting to think that everything happens for a reason. the 5 week turnaround is a blessing as much as it is a curse, since in 3 weeks i will have a lot of free time, and also the musical choice this semester is spring awakening, which don't get me wrong, is a good show, but i think i'd rather work on the romcom than the super heavy show right now (plus, unpopula opinion, but i actually don't like spring awakening that much!!! sorry theater fans out there)

so yeah, it's a mixed bag for me right now, but i think things will look better soon!!! (plus this new diary format into seasons will make me more inclined to actually write since the main reason i never did was because i hated making a new file every month)