first day of classes and its a billion degrees and i'm melting. all we did in my one class i had today was read the syllabus and i almost fell alseep just because the heat was sapping my soul out. i'm exited about the new semester but i'll be moree excited when i am not a puddle on the ground.

i am taking both a costume design class and a lighting design class that i am actually unbelievably hyped for though. first day of those is tomorrow

ok time for ollie's daily soul bearing: i am weirdly nervous to see my friends again. i was in italy all spring and i live in nowhereville usa all summer so i have not seen any of my friends since last december. i'm a naturally anxious person so maybe this was to be expected but i'm kind of afraid of seeing them, and i've lowkey been avoiding situations where there's even a possibility that i will run into them. its not because i dont want to see my friends because i really, really do, but the fact that it will be a big deal kind of paralyzes me. i hate things that are big deals. that's like the singular reason that i havent come out to my parents yet, even though i know that they are supportive and also suspect. its because it's a thing when i would rather just carry on like nothing ever happened. also, i am sick of people asking questions about italy. it's always the same questions and i never have a satisfactory answer. "how was it" it was cool. i saw art. what else do you want me to say?? my mom says to just tell people about what i did but to be honest, if there's one thing i hate more than big deals, it's repeating the same story over, and over, and over.

tldr ollie has dumb problems about dumb social incompetencies. on the bright side, you know what they say: in two weeks i will have different problems

today i moved into my new place for the school year. one 7 hour car ride and eons of unpacking and i am absolutely destroyed. This house is really nice - a lot nicer than the last one i lived at, but my room didn't come with a desk for me, my dresser is broken, and only one outlet works, so that sucks ass. i also got here last (re 7 hour car ride) so i got the shitty bed in the dark stuffy corner with no windows (and no desk or outlets and a broken dresser). wins and losses. i finally got to eat at my favorite restaurant again (OH TOMYUM SOUP I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!) so all in all not a bad day.

shoutout to 2 of my favorite room decorations that i wanted to bring but ultimately decided not to so my roommates wont hate me for being creepy: eleanor the clown (above) and audrey ii. i miss you ladies already.

also a very sad goodbye to my kittycat pepper. she always knows when i'm about to leave and gets so mad at me, it's so sad!!! i miss my baby girl so much already :( adios mi amor

i just started rereading homestuck. i can feel its clutches digging into me like claws. i think i'm about to lose all sanity or clarity of thought for the next few months at least

moving back to school for my senior year (HOLY SHIT????) on friday!! i'm moving into a new housing situation which is kinda scary!!! i'm gonna be in a co-op in a triple room which kind of sucks but also the housing market is in shambles and its a nice triple room so what can you do. i just hope my roommies are good, i've been texting them but you never know.

tldr fingers crossed for my sanity this semester

anyway

i am so burnt out. spent my entire saturday lying in bed playing sims 4 - btw i was really skeptical about horse ranch at first because i am not a horse girl i was actively an anti-horse girl growing up, but i actually really love it and it might be one of my new favorite packs???? i grew up in rural usa so a lot of it is really familiar to what i saw as a kid, like the log cabins and cowboy aesthetics. i've had a really good time remodelling my current sim's house to be the log mansion of my dreams (note to self: i've been wanting to make an article about my sim mebh for a while now. maybe i'll make an article about her insane mansion soon bc it's a build im rly proud of).

artfight is almost over but i'm so behind that i've practically given up. i've been really plagued by frustration and dissapointment with my art lately: it feels like i've really lost my creative spark and i've trashed so many attacks this year because i've just hated how my art looks. i know it's just a rut and part of the artistic growth process but it feels like this rut has lasted years. does anyone know any tips and tricks to pick myself up and start loving my art again?? i would love to hear.

speaking of burnt out, since that seems to be the theme of this entry, i am starting my final week of summer camp on monday. we're ending with a bang with... wait for it... theatre camp. i have a long and sordid history with this specific theatre camp that i am dying to write an article or even maybe make a documentary about, thought i am... waiting for the right time. long story short, the director is a little difficult, and i have 38 kids enrolled. also the play this year is an extremely bootlegged production of oklahoma where jud fry has been removed because he is a bad role model (no i am not kidding). going to be an interesting week for sure

I2I being on the official Barbie playlist is such a win for me tbh

i just got back from a week off of work for vacation at the beach!!! i read 4 books in 5 days (note to self: i still really need to make my reading log page) and my dad taught me how to surf. it was really nice, but my first day back at work and my brain is still on snooze mode, i lowkey flopped today and embarrassed myself in front of my boss right after he complimented me about what a good councelor i am (i'm a summer camp councelor, have i mentioned that??????????)

also i saw Barbie yesterday. i had to go to the next town over 40 minutes away in 100 degree heat because my local theater isn't playing it. curse this podunk fucking nowhere town. but i loved the movie!!!! the artistic design was off the charts, i was obsessed! i love movies that commit to the bit and this one did 100%. no notes.

woagh long time no diary entry i keep forgetting lol

i've been working at a sumemr camp for the past few weeks! this past week was skateboard camp so i've been getting schooled on my shitty skating skills for the past few days. i totally ate shit on thursday and i'm so sore. i wanna be a cool skatr grl so bad but i suck and am also a coward rip me.

i also got bit by a spider yesterday and my leg swelled up and now i'm suffering through a benadryl hangover and my brain feels like it is full of slugs. this has not been my week.

my goal for the summer is to become mediocre at skateboarding instead of god awful at skateboarding. i wanna be cool. wish me luckkkkkk

i keep forgetting to write here lol there have been several times this past month where i've thought to myself "i should make a diary entry" and then i get back to my computer and forget

i just finished my 2 weeks of training for my job and i start for real on monday. i work at a summer camp, yaaaaaaay childcare. in all seriousness tho i like kids and it's not going to be that bad, i'm just tired. I feel like i haven't got time for anything anymore because i'm either working or exhausted from working in the sun all day. still, could be worse, at least my job is fun and i get paid to bike and paddleboard and stuff.

the world's worst artblock is still eating me alive tho. i've been working on a single drawing of coronabeth and ianthe tridentarius for 3 weeks now. i also keep trying to work on the site but get distrated by laying in bed and watching youtube. oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i am working on a shrine tho >:) so prepare yourself its gonna be cool (but might take a while)

happy birthday gay people