bro i hate myself for wanting to write a thesis. my advisor is driving me crazy with brutal critiques and i'm not even excited about writing it anymore. i just submitted the worst 1st draft ever seen by human eyes and im ashamed that she's gonna be judging the quality of my ideas based on this. TRUST THE PROCESS, OLLIE, TRUST THE PROCESS

life is so hard and i am so stressed but at least i can experience joy from getting to wear my stupidest shirt with lemons and oranges and a bizarre little hat pattern all over it.

happy v-day i love u. if you're reading this ur my valentine ♡♡♡

no other life updates other than i'm in the depths of play rehearsal and i'm sleepy. the play is fun it's about amazon river dolphins and romance and i'm really excited about it. the only thing that would make this valentines better is if i had a girlfriend (crying)

welcome to another installment of "life happens to ollie and then they procrastinate on writing about it in their diary for a literal month". i wish i updated this sooner.

the spring semester has started and i'm assistant stage managing a play, which is really exciting! rehearsals start next monday and i'm really hyped about it, the director is so cool and the play is really good. i'm also supposed to be writing a thesis and i'm at the point where i'm supposed to be actually writing, and i'm just procrastinating the hell out of it. ahhhh responsibility!! i'm so tired.

gonna be so real with y'all life has been a lot lately and my mental health has been... less than ideal. it's my last semester of college and the realization that i have to go out there in the real world and get a job and be successful is actually setting in. remember that grad school app i mentioned in my last entry? well i got an interview a few days after that (wow i really have been putting off this update) and i totally tanked it. like had a panic attack and gave totally garbage answers to their questions. i'm not getting in. and in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal because i knew it was an exclusive program already and it's not the grad school i really had my heart set on anyway, but it's becoming obvious how hard it's really going to be. now i've been applying for things and just getting wracked with anxiety by the concept of rejection, or even worse, being accepted and then having to prove that i can actually be a real adult. i guess i've just been feeling paralyzed lately, you know how it is.

anyway, i swear im gonna put more effort into updating more frequently with more lowkey and non-infodumpy entries. i also wanna start incorporating more photos and other silly tidbits of my day, i want this to be a place where y'all can get to know me casually :) fingers crossed i actually hold myself to this. as a start please enjoy my art from this year's hourly comic day (i gave up on the last page can u tell)

howdee and happy new year

i turned 23 a few days ago which is exciting!! for some reason 23 feels so much older, probably because it's usually the age where people graduate from uni and enter a new life stage. because of my gap year i'm still in school and am now the oldest of all my friends which feels weird.

ngl the past few weeks have been stressful as hell. my dad is going through some health complications, it's not life threatening thank god but it's really putting a cloud over this household rn. mostly ive been stressing and working on my grad school app to a school that's probably not going to let me in anyway (this program accepts like a single digit number of students a year. are you shitting me). still everyone keeps telling me that i wont know unless i try, so i tried, we'll fucking see

hard left turn into hyperfixation spiral time this week i have become obsessed with back the the future the musical. i have a problem. i've been rewatching this bootleg i got on loop and watched every broadway.com vlog & interview under the sun. my friends are concerned for my sanity.

i'm discovering that i have an intense weakness for sci fi musicals (yes groundhog day counts as sci-fi, fight me about it). and don't even get me STARTED on dystopian musicals, i also had a very intense bat out of hell phase don't even kid yourself. i love being a theater kid

i also went into a frenzy this past week polishing up my index, i am very proud of how it turned out!! and as soon as the index was done i immediately started working on a new in-site guestbook too which i am also very happy about!!! i was trying to work on the afforementioned upcoming blog post mentioned in the last diary entry but my brain can only handle working on one page of this site at a time and when the urge drives me to obsessively work on a page, who am i to stop myself? so, blog post incoming soon i prommy. it'll be really fun, i'm super excited about it's subject!!

hiiiiiii

my favorite hobby is forgetting to write in my diary. i dont have much to say that's not going to be in my new BLOG POST :O coming soon to an olliveen.neocities.org/blog near you. semester's over and i'm home for the holidayzz. mostly being lazy, forcing myself to read for school, and procrastinating on grad school apps. my dog injured himself and has been on house arrest for the past few days while it heals (please god help me i'm babysitting a border collie) so that's how life has been going. very riveting stuff

anywayz hope u have a happy holidays :D