aka blorbo from my plays

Who is Romeo Montague?

Romeo Montague is one of the titular characters from William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. It's like insanely famous so I'd be surprised if you haven't read it for school or something but if you havent: you should!!! It's a little overhyped but honestly its really good you won't regret it.

But if you don't know it, the sparknotes: "Two households, both alike in dignity In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife. The fearful passage of their death-marked love And the continuance of their parents’ rage, Which, but their children’s end, naught could remove, Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage; The which, if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend." And I think that about covers it!

Why so passionate about Romeo??

The honest to god truth is that Romeo and Juliet is a good fucking play and it's titular characters are good fucking characters. Romeo is SUCH a well-written character but he gets SO mischaracterized in adaptations and honestly it hurts me to see my boy so misunderstood. SO this shrine is where I am going to dispel some misconceptions about my silly rabbit.

Romeo is a naive idealist: his flowery language is meant to convey that he is in love with the idea of being in love but actually has very little experience in actually being in a relationship. But who says that is a BAD thing?? First of all, Romeo is BABY, this boy is like sixteen. Being young and inexperienced isn't a crime. Second, being a naive idealist is not a flaw. There is a lot of good in seeing the world through rose-colored glasses: viewing the world as it could and should be is what allows Romeo to be with Juliet and break down barriers of hate.

I've seen a lot of R+J haters critize the "insta-love" of it all and question whether their relationship really is "true love", seeing as they are literal children in their first relationship and all. However, I really don't think that is the point. The thesis statement of Romeo and Juliet is that these two kids are able to see past generations of hate because of their belief in love and choosing that love, "true" or not (what even is true love??? who caressss), really is all that matters.

And THAT is why I love my baby boy. Being in love with love is awesome and you should try it!!

Misconceptions about Romeo

I believe that all depictions of Romeo that go wrong are because of these two main mischaracterizations of him, which I have dubbed the ROMEO SINS:

Sin #1: Romeo is a player.

  • WRONG!! The main argument for this point is that he starts the play infatuated with another woman: Juliet's cousin, Rosaline. However, once he meets Juliet he quickly forgets Rosaline in favor of his new love. While it is true that Romeo does kind of ditch his love for Rosaline very quickly, there are 2 things of note here: 1) Romeo is a TEENAGER and teenagers are like that, and 2) ROSALINE DOESN'T LIKE HIM BACK. This is a detail that is so often forgotten to paint Rosaline as Romeo's forgotten lover who he one-night-standed to frame him like an asshole serial romantic, when in actuality is crush on Rosaline is just that: a crush, and he doesn't abandon her for Juliet because he never had a chance with her in the first place.

Sin #2: Romeo is stupid.

  • This is such a big gripe for me, because a lot of the more feminist retellings of R&J that highlight Juliet (and Rosaline) tend to paint Romeo as a bumbling idiot asshole (which broadly overlaps with the fuckboy characterization). This always just makes me sad: it gives me the impression that men can't be portrayed as romantic without also being stupid. Boys should have the right to be be hopeless romantics and still be respected as characters and have their love treated with respect :( Also, once again this overlaps with age: Romeo is a TEENAGER and believing him to be stupid because he doesn't make mature decisions is in bad faith of his character. Of course Romeo isn't going to act like a reasonable smart adult, he isn't one!!

It is a combo of these things that makes a bad Romeo, and is the reason I see him getting so much hate that I truly believe he doesn't deserve. I will not take the Romeo slander ANY LONGER! He is my silly rabbit and a good boy who follows his heart over his head but we love him for it. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

A Romeo & Juliet Close Reading

If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, did ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss?

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.

Act 1 Scene 1

SAMSON: 'Tis true - and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall; therefore I will push Monatgue's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall.

GREGORY: The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.

SAMSON: 'Tis all one.

Romeo and Juliet is a play about gender. This exchange is one of the first pieces of dialogue in the whole show, where 2 Capulets talk in puns about how they're superior to the Montagues. Masculinity is so inherent to this feud that the Capulet's act of domination over the Montagues is directly associated with talks of assault against Montague women. The fight between the men and the family and the violence against women "'tis all one". And, as I talk about later in this section, Romeo's aversion to the conflict inherently puts him in conflict with his own masculinity.

Act 1 Scene 2

MERCUTIO: If love be rough with you, be rough with love;

Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.

Aside from being a very silly line and an example of how Mercutio is Shakespeare's best-written character ever (but that's another analysis), this line fascinates me. Mercutio is basically saying that all Romeo has to do to get over his love sickness is have sex and then those feelings will go away. This line of thinking highlights one of the main reasonings behind my Romeo sins: Mercutio, and masculine gender roles as a whole, view emotional love and passion as something men just don't really do, and equates masculine love with lust. Mercutio devalues Romeo's feelings, basically saying that the only reason Romeo is in love is because he is a virgin and once Romeo has sex with the woman he is pining after, Rosaline, he will be satisfied and won't love her anymore. Not only is this a crazy reduction of gender roles, which I think the play comments on in a very nice way with Romeo, but it's blatantly not true. Romeo and Juliet do have sex in this play, it does not do anything to dampen Romeo's feelings: if anything, it makes his love for Juliet stronger.

Act 2 Scene 1

ROMEO: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief

Parallel to Act 3 Scene 2, where Juliet compares Romeo's beauty to the stars making the sun envious. Funny how these two are so in sync and yet still such opposites. I love the running metaphor throughout this play that Romeo is the night and Juliet is the day.

Act 2 Scene 1

JULIET: 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's "Montague"? It is nor hand, nor foot,

Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to man. Oh, be some other name!

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell just as sweet;

For being the play about dumb kids in love, these kids are crazy smart. Juliet understands how shallow the feud is; the Capulets hate the Montagues as a concept, not as real individuals. Juliet knows this, but the "mature" adults do not.

Act 2 Scene 3

MERCUTIO: Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable; now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great batual that runs lolling up and down to his bauble in a hole.

God damn. Mercutio, who is under the incorrect impression that Romeo just had sex with Rosaline, basically says that now that Romeo has gotten Rosaline out of his system, he is now "Romeo", his "natural" self again. Interesting contrast to Juliet's "What's in a name?" monologue; Juliet sees that who Romeo is has nothing to do with his name, while Mercutio believes that Romeo was not himself when in love and now has returned to being the real "Romeo". According to Mercutio, Romeo is only truly himself when attached to his name, while Juliet indentifies that Romeo's name has nothing to do with his identity of self. Mercutio disregards and degrades Romeo's emotions and firmly ties his real identity to "Romeo Montague". Also, I think it's worth noting that despite being the more experienced man, Mercutio's perception of love is just as shallow as Romeo's: he only sees it as lust.

Act 3 Scene 1

ROMEO: I do protest I never injuried thee,

But love thee better than thou canst devise

Till thou shalt know the reason of my love.

And so, good Capulet - which name I tender

As dearly as mine own - be satisfied.

Tybalt has challenged Romeo to a duel for the crime of attending the Capulet party. Funny how it only took one day of loving Juliet to open Romeo's eyes to the meaninglessness of the feud. Romeo's love of Juliet extends to her entire family, and because he loves her he now also loves Tybalt: shows how Romeo's love actually does transcend naive doting.

Act 3 Scene 2

JULIET: Beautiful tyrant, fiend angelical,

Dove-feathered raven, wolvish-ravening lamb,

Despisèd substance of divinest show,

Just opposite to what thou justly seem'st,

A damnèd saint, an honorable villain. [...]

But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin?

That villain cousin would have killed my husband.

Juliet only knows how to express her complex feelings about Romeo killing Tybalt through oxymoronic pairs: a direct reflection of how these two are trapped in a false dichotomy of the hateful feud of their families and their loving relationship with each other, and are unable to reach a third option. The situation is so complicated and yet these kids are only presented with two options, and Juliet is fighting to reconcile this, to find a way things can be both and still be true. I told you, this girl is smart.

Act 5 Scene 3

JULIET: What's here? A cup closed in my true love's hand?

Poison I see hath been his timeless end.

O churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop

To help me after? I will kiss thy lips:

Haply some poison yet doth hang on them

To make me die with a restorative.

[...]

O happy dagger,

This is thy sheath; there rust and let me die.

Romeo, thinking that Juliet is dead and deciding to kill himself as well, chooses to take poison A.K.A. the coward's way out. Even now, after Tybalt and everything, he still just cannot be the brave and violent man his world expects him to be. Juliet, however, is the one courageous enough to kill herself via dagger. Throughout the play Juliet is given no agency but decides to take it anyway. She is the most assertive, brave, and smart character in this whole play. Even though Romeo is banished and threatened with execution, she has the most to lose and also the most freedom to gain from escaping from the confines of her society. #girlboss

Act 1 Scene 1

ROMEO: Oh, me! What fray was here?

Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all;

Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.

Why, then, O brawling love, O loving hate,

O anything of nothing first created...

Romeo is kind of correct to equate hate with love: they are two sides of the same coin. Is the hateful obsession the Montagues and the Capulets have with each other not a sort of love? Are they not in love with their own feud? Additonally, is it not the hate between families that allows Romeo and Juliet's love to develop so fully? Would their relationship have gotten to the point it did if there wasn't a barrier of hate between them?

Act 1 Scene 1

ROMEO: Tut, I have lost myself; I am not here.

This is not Romeo: he’s some other where.

The first instance of Romeo's identity crisis that persists throughout the play. Within the literal context of the play, he says this in response to his out-of-character rebuffing of Benvolio, apologizing for being rude and blaming it on being distracted about love. However, I think this can also be read as Romeo realizing that this new lovesickness he is experiencing signifies a bigger change in identity - a separation of his sense of self away from "Romeo Montague".

Act 1 Scene 4

TYBALT: 'Tis he, that villain Romeo.

CAPULET: Content thee, gentle coz. Let him alone.

'A bears him like a portly gentleman,

And, to say truth, Verona brags of him

To be a virtuous and well-governed youth; [...]

TYBALT: It fits when such a villain is a guest;

I'll not endure him.

CAPULET: He shall be endured!

It has always interested me how Lord Capulet decides to let the feud slide this ONE time. He is in the party vibe and decides that his feud with the Montagues is with Romeo's father and that Romeo has done nothing wrong, and he allows Romeo to stay, and THAT is what allows Romeo and Juliet to meet, fall in love, and disrupt the feud in such a way that ends it forever. In a way, even though Romeo has already seen and started crushing on Juliet by this point, Lord Capulet committed the first act of love that brings the entire system of hate toppling down. I've never really understood why he lets Romeo go, really, but it's fascinating.

TYBALT: Patience perforce with willful choler meeting

Makes my flesh tremble in their different greeting

I will withdraw, but this intrusion shall,

Now seeming sweet, convert to bitt'ress gall.

ALSO fascinating how Tybalt is Romeo's perfect foil: Both are young people brought up into a preexistling feud, but Romeo is constantly drifting away from the conflict, too busy following his own heart, while Tybalt is obsessed with it. Even in this moment of celebration where he is given an explicit order to co-exist with Romeo, he can't bear it. He hates Romeo without any personal reason, solely because he was raised to hate Romeo, and as a result hates him more than the adults who started this feud do.

Act 2 Scene 2

FRIAR LAURENCE: Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear,

So soon forsaken? Young men's love, then, lies

Not truly in their hearts but in their eyes. [...]

ROMEO: Thou chid'st me oft for loving Rosaline-

FRIAR LAURENCE: For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.

Friar Laurence directly calls our Romeo's shallowness when it comes to love: if he is falling in love at first sight constantly then how true can his love really be? And true, his love for Rosaline was pretty surface level, as he did not really know her, and his infatuation with Juliet is pretty similar, but I argue that it doesn't matter, and if anything that's kind of the point. Romeo (and Juliet - she does this too) is constantly choosing love, even if this love is surface level and naive. I kind of disagree with Laurence carving such a distinction between doting and loving, since the only difference is the level of commitment present. Rosaline provided Romeo with no path forward in their relationship and Juliet does; sure, Romeo got over Rosaline real fast, but even if he is simply "doting" on Juliet, he is making a real commitment towards her.

Act 3 Scene 1

ROMEO: O sweet Juliet,

Thy beauty hath made me effeminate,

And in my temper softened valor's steel.

CRAZY. LIKE I'VE BEEN SAYING, everybody equates the feud with masculinity and Romeo's romantic inclinations with a lack of masculinity, and now Romeo finally comes face to face with this. Up until now, the violence of the feud has been in the background of Romeo's life in name only ("what's in a name?"), but now it finally affects him directly and the gender roles his name forces him into become unavoidable. Romeo is trapped in a binary: his world does not allow him to claim his masculinity and still be in love, and that's what keeps him and Juliet apart.

Act 3 Scene 2

JULIET: Give me my Romeo; and when I shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

Parallel to Act 2 Scene 1, where Romeo compares Juliet's beauty to the sun making the moon envious. These two are so frickin silly in how they are just completely oblivious to these metaphor parallels and keep trash talking their own symbolic element to compliment each other. These two really do match each other's freak: Romeo gets bullied by Mercutio and Benvolio for using flowery language as a dead giveaway of his inexperience, and Juliet speaks exactly the same way. They are meant for each other it's so cute.

Act 4 Scene 1

JULIET: I long to die

If what thou speak'st speak not of remedy.

Juliet doesn't want to kill herself because she is prevented from being with Romeo, but because her father is forcing her to marry Paris. Like Romeo, Juliet is trapped within gender roles, forced to be the property of her father with no agency of her own. For Juliet, her forbidden love with Romeo is not only a rebellion against the feud, but a rebellion against the contstraints her family puts upon her because of her gender. When she is a Capulet, her identity is solely "daughter of Lord Capulet" and she is not allowed any freedom of identity outside of that.

Act 5 Scene 3

PRINCE: Capulet, Montague:

See what a scourge is laid upon your hate,

That heaven means to kill your joys with love...

And that's all there is to it.

Romeo Adaptation Ratings

Romeo + Juliet (1998)

rating: 10/10

Top 10 movies that make my head explode. I ADORE this movie it is the PERFECT adaptation and the style is impeccable. My only gripe is that they cut down Paris's role so much (RIP Paul Rudd I love you).

& Juliet: the Musical

rating: 4/10

This Romeo is unfortunately the pinnacle of the 2 Romeo Sins in action: he is lowkey villainized in this show despite doing nothing wrong except having previous girlfriends before Juliet? He is also treated like an idiot. He does net a higher score than he deserves though, because Jordal Luke Gage is just so charming, the music is wonderful, and his jacket slays.

Gnomeo and Juliet

rating: 8/10

Gnomeo! It's a silly goofy movie that I love a lot. Even though it goes against Romeo's characterization and therefore is not the most accurate representation of him, I actually do like how this movie reinterprets the premise to have both Gnomeo and Juliet be more actively involved in the feud: Gnomeo participates in the initial "bite your thumb" spat with Tybalt when in the original it is pretty significant that he is not, and Juliet explicitly states that she wants to help with the feud by getting the orchid for the Red garden but is not permitted to. I'm obsessed with the orchid meet cute scene and how it's pretty different from the original party setting. I like that Juliet gets to be more proactively disobedient to her parents and that Gnomeo, who is so entrenched in the feud, gets to completely step away from it and kind of go through that character arc of rejecting violence that Romeo has already kind of gone through by the start of the original play. It's really different but it's an adaptation so that's not the worst thing in the world and also this is MY shrine and I get to decide what I like. In short, actually a fun good adaptation & this movie rules. I love that they made a sequel and Sherlock Holmes is there. Also, Elton John? Yes please.

Rosaline

rating: 0/10

NO!!! EVIL EVIL I HATE THIS MAN!!!! The whole movie is about how Romeo cheats on Rosaline (see above) and is a shallow douchebag. NO THANKS. Throwing up just typing this.

Warm Bodies

rating: 10/10

R! I love this movie! It's such a fun take on the story, and it really gets the lovesick Romeo right while still acknowledging his struggles wth his place in his "family" - R is actively aware of and fighting against his place in the "feud" to be with Julie, but also can't really avoid his nature, which I find to be a really good interpretation of the "what's in a name" theme. It's just fun and funny, I love adaptations that play with the premise. Thank you knockoff Jonathan Harker from Nosferatu for being a horror legend forever.

West Side Story

rating: 9/10

Tony! I'm a theatre kid, big shocker. West Side Story is a GREAT adaptation. It actually gets the "two houses alike in diginty" correct - the Sharks and the Jets seem so different and yet share the same struggles in a very nuanced way. Tony is also a GOOD Romeo in that he starts the musical by actively trying to step away from his violent role in the Jets, even though Tony is a lot more softspoken and less addicted to romance than Romeo is. This movie is a crazy loyal adaptation while also making it relevant to the modern day, and the songs are bangers (everybody say thank you Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim).

First Kill

rating: 5/10

Calliope!! LESBIAN ROMEO LESBIAN ROMEO!!!!! This show GETS it Romeo is SO lesbian coded and maybe that is the deep down real reason I am so obsessed with him. Dear Netflix I'll kill you for cancelling this show. This show takes a LOT of creative liberties obvious (see: vampires) and deviates from the R+J plot a bit, mainly in that Cal never kills this show's Tybalt (Elinor) which is a pretty big dropped plot point but it's a loose adaptation so whatever. Though, I guess you could argue that in this show, Juliette takes the Romeo role by "killing" Theo (who I initially interpreted as the Mercutio but I guess he could be the Tybalt if you squint). Interesting regardless.

Romeo and Juliet (1968)

rating: 9/10

troy bolton looking motherfucker. come on juliet get your head in the game.

Teen Beach Movie

rating: 5/10

Tanner!! This movie makes its Romeo a dumbass, which I've already said that I don't like, but he is also very pure of heart and kind so I'll let it slide.

Zombies 4: Dawn of the Vampires

rating: 10/10

Victor!! Ok this movie is cheesy and stupid as hell but I actually think Victor is an excellent Romeo. He is the perfect balance of head in the clouds needing to follow his own destiny and loyal to his family, and he really possesses that special inability to be who his family expects him to be that makes the perfect Romeo internal conflict. This movie kind of made me ponder how Romeo and Juliet differ within their family dynamics and loyalties to their houses, and I think that I view Romeo as a "black sheep" and Juliet as a "caged bird", which I think this movie represents well. Romeo struggles to serve his family because their needs are in direct conflict with being true to himself. Meanwhile, Juliet is trapped within her gender role and serves her family because she must, even if she has doubts. This dynamic is really present in this movie, with Nova being more of a perfect daughter who must rebel and Victor being the dissapointment son who must prove himself.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Ollie, if you're including the Zombies movies, should't Zed also be a Romeo?" and to that I say NO, actually!! The first Zombies movie is NOT a valid Romeo and Juliet adaptation in my humble opinion because the most important part of an R&J adaptation is that the two houses are "alike in dignity". If one house is an oppressor and the other house is oppressed, they are NOT alike in dignity and therefore it is NOT a valid R&J adaptation. The zombies (Zed) are oppressed by the humans (Addison), therefore Zed is not a Romeo. HOWEVER, the vampires and daywalkers in Zombies 4 are literally two variations of the same species and the movie is about their denial of their sameness via pointless rivalry that ultimately harms their next generation, so I actually think it understands Romeo & Juliet shockingly well.

parting is such sweet sorrow